5-30-13

Less than twenty four hours until Mrs. Stephanie leaves on her mission trip to Africa. She has been going to Africa for about five years now but this is only my second year for me that I have been with her. Last year her days before leaving seemed like every other day, it was simple to me she left and than came back. This year she has stressed about every little thing and I assume many things because of it. It has not helped that I have not been a good mood most of my time back home. It had only been a day since I tried straighten up but when I woke up this morning everyone was gone. They had to get up at seven this morning to go to swim practice, I was still asleep when they left. The irony of it is this the only day I was prepared to be woken up early the rest of the mornings it was a dread. I guess I don't blain her for not waking me up after I have just been fighting about it. You would think though that the day she leaves it would be important to spend as much time with her as I can. I decided to spend my morning productive because the next few day I will not have any time to do anything for myself. After Mrs. Stephanie got home I spend the rest of the day hanging around thinking that was spending time with her when I did not feel included at all. I infant, have felt like she could care less if I spend time with her or not. Deep down I know that is not true but I still think I am the one who is lest important and I am probably right, her action kind of show it. I deal with it anyway and sitting around watching; which at some points make me angry. I am not looking forward to the time for her to actually leave, one because I really dislikes good-byes. Two I really am going to miss her and I do not really thinks she realizes that. This week she has made me dislike the whole adopted thing more than ever. I have never been convinced that anyone could love them the same way as their own children. I believe I have seen it but the question is am I seeing what I want to see. I just do not understand what could be so different from this summer from last summer. Is it because I have went off for collage or without my car do I feel trapped.