weeks, too many

Three weeks ago, I came home to my foster parents, two foster brothers, and three of my sisters. The people that has been my family for almost two years now. As we live life the one thing that is constant for our generation, no matter if the location changes, is school. Therefore, it was natural to go to college. I finished my first year on the edge of strong, just to go back and continue my life where I had left it off. The problem with that is I had just spent a year doing what I thought was right and the way I thought it has be done, to go back to being dependable on people who I did not always agree with. When I packed my bags to come to what I call home, I was excited. I never thought of home as a horrible place to be, how could I, I had people who loved me and was always considerate of me. The day after coming home my only way to get around, died right in front of my ex-boyfriends house.  I was not too down about my car going on me, I had a wonderful friend that was willing to come get me so we could hang out. A few days into hanging out many days, we became what I had waited for in the last couple of months. I was excited to have him as my boyfriend even though he worked, he still found the time for me. Without an understanding, a week later he ended it, just like that. It still puzzles me, I have hoped for months and had a crush on him for about a year. I was heart broken about it even if it was only for a week, without him I had no one and no way around. I spent many days sitting around the house bored, finding out I really did not have friends and the more I sat the more I thought, and the more I thought the more depressed I became. I had stop being able to sleep, I came off the pills I was addicted to, I had stop being able to make wise decisions. I want my life to disappear, so I thought of things that would do that. I thought I would just end my life, as my plan was in action I was caught, just to find out that the pills would not have killed me. My next option was to put my life on hold and forget about everything for the time being and there was only one thing I knew would do that. I had planned it all out, and as it went into action I wanted out but I did not know how to, being protected by someone very special to me, I was caught. I finally saw the only way I could get out of this mess was to straighten up so I could be happy again. I had so much I had to be happy for and I had no clue how I gotten into this mess in the first place. I having to deal with the consequences of what I did and it took awhile to strengthen up but in the end I was thankful that I had great people looking out for me.