Need to do something

After a day of doing what I wanted to do it ended in depressed me. The girls did not go to swim practice so I did not have to drive until later. I was planning on going out anyways, I have always been aloud to see my real parents. Lately I have not seen them because my car has been out of service and my foster parents do not want me out with their cars. My morning call from Mr. John had me going out to Gracie's daycare, because he forgot to bring her bottles. Gave me the perfect excuse to be out and about this morning. The only problem I had was,  I was babysitting the girls. Our foster parents are not fond of our parents seeing the girls like ever. After a long (not really) conversation with myself, I decided that it was their God given right to see them. Knowing of course the girls could not keep there mouth shut, I still told them to keep quit about see our parents. The girls did end up telling Mr. John every detail, which I denied not because I did not want to get in trouble. No, what was he going to ground me from, babysitting. I hide it because you know what I do not even know why. My mind is still not thinking clearly at some points, I have been working on it and it has been doing pretty good, but I guess it still can not handle wrongness haha. I ended up lying again after we came home from a long day. My judgement is the same as a fifteen year old. Lets just say I thought about how angry I was and went back to locking myself in my room, crying, and watching movies just to get me to fall asleep. I am just glad that I do not have to wake up tomorrow and no children. Just so I can anger myself some more great.